Robert Murray McCHENE:Gospel to a dying man.

Posted June 26, 2009 by hottubreligion
Categories: Altar, Calvinists go away, Evangelism, Faith., Stories-illustrations, sinners prayer, sovereign grace

Robert Murray McCheyne in his diary shows how a good physician goes about his most delicate and critical work.He makes six visits to talk with a sinner about his soul.

Thomas Tyrie,Step row,lowest ‘land’,ill of consumption for five tears.Takes opium.

Visted,12 Dec.1836–Debate about hell and annihilation.I spoke of Lost sheep.He attentive.Has read his Bible,rather to cavil at it.Neigbors came in.

Visited,19 Dec.—-He has been asking often for me.I spoke on lost piece.He still attentive,and consents to the whole truth.

Visited,20 Dec,—-Spoke on Proverbs 1:Turn your heart at my reproof.He was sleepier than usual;yet ‘corroborated’all,as he said.

Visited 22 Dec.——Shared…the Lord opened Lydia’s heart.He was more attentive.He said that a great change had taken place,and spoke of his peace within during these two weeks.Still speaks through opium,but wonderfully sensible.

Visited 28 Dec——Spoke on Christ a substitute.Explained the whole gospel,and pressed it on him.Strangely sensible answers.Who knows but there may be some work of the Spirit here?He says that his views of his own heart and of Christ are both changed.

Visited,31 Dec.Found his cold remains wrapped up;and Margaret crying.Died on friday morning,30 Dec.,before light;no one saw him die.Thus ends this short but interesting history.There was certainly a wonderful change in the man.He took to his Bible,before unread;spoke with interest of his soul and of the Saviour;was glad of my visits,and squeezed my hand always with affection.But whether or not there was a work of grace the Day shall declare.

Getting back to the 50’s:Old Strategy..New Tacticts???

Posted June 6, 2009 by hottubreligion
Categories: Uncategorized

Dr.Dwight Easler,pastor of Corinth Baptist church in Gaffneyhas written an excellent article.The fact that he is a young pastor makes it more interesting.http://pastorinthewoods.wordpress.com/2009/06/05/getting-back-to-the-50s-old-strategy-new-tactics/

Church in the Fifties:The Good Old Days.

Posted June 5, 2009 by hottubreligion
Categories: Church Covenant., Church restrooms, Church seeking Pastor, Feel-Good Church Movements, First mega church, SC Baptist convention, satire

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The golden years of Southern Baptist churches were in the fifties:

1.Christians celebrated REDEMPTION..Not RECOVERY.

2.Pastors wore dress suits on sunday.They also wore dress suits when at the beach and while mowing the lawn.

3.Pastors did not cuss or use crude language behind the pulpit.When they did cuss,it was under their breath and they immediately claimed 1.John.1:9.

4.Preachers did not preach sermons on SEX,but the average family had 5 kids.

5.Televisions were called,SMELLIVISION and rabbit ears on T.V.sets were called the devil’s horns.

6.Baptist teenagers only danced at the teen club at the Methodist church on friday nights.They came to the altar on sunday morning at the Baptist church.

7.Gays and Calvinists were still in the closet in 1955.Gays were called queers and calvinists were called Devil worshippers.

8.Church buildings and additions to church facilities were paid for with TITHES and OFFERINGS,not chicken dinner sales.

9.New church starts happened when a church grew to a large number of members.Instead of remaing a MEGA church as a monument to some preacher’s ego,several members of the mother church would gladly go down the road and establish a new church.Inevitably,the mission church would out grow the mother church and their was no jealously.

10.Families sat together in church.

11.Churches were filled on sunday nights.

12.Wednesday nights really were prayer meetings.

13.We learned Baptist doctrine in training union.

14.We sang out of the doctrinally sound Broadman hymnal.No off the wall singing.

15.If a child started crying in church,Dad would take it outside and give it something to cry about.While outside,dad would catch a quick smoke before going back in.

16.Baptist women had Circle meetings in homes.They prayed for missionaries and then had refreshments and a gossip session for one hour.

17.Baptist churches were called..Baptist churches…not Journey churches,etc.

18.Vacation Bible school was for two weeks during the day.

19.R.A’S,G.A,’S and Sunbeams flourished.

20.No one knew who would be nominated for President of the SBC until the convention was held.

We can now say,”We’ve come a long way baby”since the fifties,but I still long for the good old days.

Telling The Truth Interestingly..

Posted June 4, 2009 by hottubreligion
Categories: Stories-illustrations, Summer sermons, satire

Dear Speaker:

The world has never gotten over its likin’ of the truth.I’ve been a member of a church now for more’n fifty years.We must have had twenty pastors or more.I don’t know for sure.None of ‘em stayed very long.Everyone of them told the truth.In fact they could bore you for hours on end with the truth.There was one out of the whole bunch that we really wanted to keep.He told the truth interestingly.One time he put on a bathrobe and played like he was King David.Sure was interesting.Another time he played like he was the innkeeper in Bethlehem.Then one time he smeared his face with soot——–sure looked strange——–and told us he was Job.We all knew better and he knew we did,but I never really understood the book of Job til that sermon.One time he dressed up in a white robe and came in the back of the auditorium carrying a sign.He told us he was an Archangel.He seemed so convinced,we believed him.Darndest thing,he’d do per’t near’t anything to keep our attention.He always did.Big church down in Chattanooga hire him away from us.The good’uns always seem to get away.

They arrested a man over by Greenville the other day.They threw him in jail.He was walking around town in a white robe,carrying a sign that said”THE WORLD IS COMING TO AN END.”I  don’t know why they arrested him.Most everybody believed he was right.As I saw it,he was telling the truth interestingly.Last week my preacher preached on that very thing.The way he told that same truth wasn’t all that interesting.They might have locked up the wong man.

It sure seems important to me to tell the truth interestingly.Not too many people do it.A bunch of us who listen to your sermons are wishing you’d do it.You might try the white robe and sign routine.Just don’t go outside.

-Your audience.(from Calvin Miller,The Empowered Communicator,page 134).

Help him,Jesus!Help him,Jesus!

Posted June 2, 2009 by hottubreligion
Categories: Sermons, preaching, satire

A faithful listener in church writes to preachers:

I always feel sorry for a preacher who is floundering’on his feet.Everybody does.There they are,talking along through a snoring sea of nodding narcoleptics,knowing they’e not cutting the mustard.Furthermore,they know we know.It’s like watching the crash and burn of an airliner in slow motion.You know where it’s all going to end and you can’t do a thing to stop it.Preachers have to fail so publicly.

I was at an Africian American service the other day when a poor monotone European-American was boring us out of our gourds.One hefty brother,toward the back of the service,kept saying,”Help him,Jesus!Help him,Jesus!”Jesus didn’t.I don’t know why Jesus didn’t help him.We all would have if we could.

Still I’ve seen it happen a lot of times.You think when they’re up there preaching God’s word,He’d help ‘um out of the mess that they sometimes get themselves in.Everybody would appreciate it.But God just kind of watches a poor sermon go up in smoke,shaking his head like the rest of us.

I’ve always wondered why,when a preacher knows he’s not doing it,why he just doesn’t bless everybody and send them off to the cafeterias early.A surgeon will stop her surgey when she knows her patient has died on the operating table. A boxer will leave the ring once the fight is over and the arena is empty.A cowboy will dismount when he knows for sure his horse is dead.Only preachers keep on preaching after they’ve run out of sermon.Darndest thing,they just won’t quit.In all my years of church–going,I’ve never heard a soul criticize preachers for preaching short sermons,only vice–versa.Anyway,if I were you,I’d quit preaching just before we quit listening.If not,don’t expect God to come down and deliver you.He won’t do it.You’ll be up there failing all by yourself with everybody lookin’ on.If you do it very often,maybe you should get another job.

———Your Audience.

From,The Empowered Communicator,by Calvin Miller(page 188)