Archive for the ‘Young pastors in the SBC’ category

The Pastor You’ve Been Looking For.

May 31, 2011

“THE IDEAL PASTOR.”

The ideal pastor is difficult to find. But if your church is fortunate, you may be able to secure his services. Since he is the ideal pastor, it won’t cost very much – he lives by faith. Yet he can be counted upon to tithe heavily and still be able to afford a large house in which he will regularly entertain the entire congregation.

He loves the older folks of the church, visiting them regularly. Besides this, he spends all of his time with the young people. The glow on his face reveals his secret. He’s spent many hours on his knees before God. However, he’s always available to anyone who drops by for a friendly chat. What’s a half-hour out of his schedule since he only works on Sunday anyway.

The ideal pastor loves to disciple new converts and gives full-time attention to calling on the elderly, ill, and shut-in. He has a model family, is always in the church office when you call and is busy at the hospital, just looking for a soul to comfort. He would never miss a church function, and attends every function sponsored by the ministerial association. In addition, he meets all his neighbors and civic leaders within the community and wins their hearts too.

The ideal pastor has a worldwide ministry through television, radio, tapes, and books and he travels extensively preaching the Word. He still has time, however, to listen to everyone’s problems and wants to be updated on the progress of your bunions and backaches.

The ideal pastor is only 29 and has been preaching 30 years. He preaches sermons that win the hearts of the lost and inspire the minds of the mature. He produces miracles like Smith Wigglesworth, teaches faith like Kenneth Hagin, evangelizes like Billy Graham, has the eloquence of Spurgeon and the fervor of Moody. Yet he is so profoundly simple that even preschoolers are blessed. Teenagers take notes on his sermons.

The ideal pastor comprehends the complexity of church finances, has mastery of the church budget, and never talks about money. He is a strong believer in holiness and church discipline and never speaks a stern word to anyone.

The ideal pastor is easily spotted. Just look for the man dressed in the latest style suit and color coordinated outfit. He found it at the bottom of the missionary barrel, but knows how important it is to impress well-to-do newcomers with clothes that say “success” and “achievement.”

The ideal pastor is tall, short, lean, and husky, with brown hair and blond hair. He has a deep, resonant voice which, because it is quietly loud, pleases everyone and is audible to the hard of hearing. He can sing, lead music, and delegates authority to everyone. Besides this, he helps each layman and does all the things other people are too busy to do. In short, he keeps the entire church and each family running smoothly.

You are probably sure by now that you don’t have the ideal pastor. Take heart! You can easily re-shape your present pastor. He should listen to what you say, after all, he is God’s servant.

On the other hand, if you happen to have the ideal pastor, just wait a little while and you won’t. He’ll be confined to a room at the hospital.

There is an alternative: love the pastor you do have and pray for him. You prayed, God answered, and now you have him – at least until he finds the ideal church full of ideal church members.

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Statements Overheard by The Pastor Search Committee

April 13, 2010

My favorite story about pastor search committees is about one committee of seven seated in church ready to hear the pastor’s sermon.A lady who was a member of the church sitting in the pew behind the committee leaned over and said,”We hope you get him.”

I want to list some conversations that you might hear if you could listen in as a search committee interviews a prospective pastor.

1.Number one on the list is:We just want a pastor to love us.Now what they probally mean by this is,”Our last pastor was an old meany.”

2.We are looking,not just for a preacher,but we want a pastor as well.(Be sure and ask what they mean by that with a Biblical answer).

3.Our church desires a pastor who will connect with the young people.(They mean by that,will you go to six flags on a saturday with them?)

4.It is important to our committee that the pastor’s wife not work outside the home.( In other words,she will be like an unpaid associate pastor).

5.Our search committee would be interested to know how you feel about a job description for a pastor.(Your answer should be:That’s a great idea.Let’s consult the pastoral epistles for our guidelines).

6.Pastor,will you share with us what your weaknesses are? (Yes I will,if everyone in this room will do the same.Since you are the chairperson,why don’t you start?)

7.Our attendance in church has dropped of drastically.What would be the first thing,in your opinion,that we should do?(Repent and return to your first love).

8.What would you do to reach inactive members of our church?( I would write a letter of apology asking for their forgiveness for not practising church disipline and ask the deacons to sign it).

9.Our last pastor would often blow his nose while preaching and then look into his handkerchief.What would you do? (I would not look at it).

10.Pastor,do you drink wine? No,but after meeting with you,I think I’ll start right now!

Pastor:It’s Time to Move….When…

April 8, 2010

When Ronald Reagan succeeded Edmund G.Brown as governer of Californian in 1967,Brown gave this advice to Reagan:”There is a passage in War and Peace that every new governor with a big majority should tack on his office wall.In Count Rostov,after weeks as the toast of elegant farewell parties,gallops off on his first cavalry charge and finds real bullets snapping at his ears.’Why,they are shooting at me,’he says, ‘Me,whom everyone loves!”

Pastor,you might as well know up front,that the man out front,whether he is leading a cavalry charge or a Christian church is going to get shot at.Paul W.Powell in his book,”Basic Bible Sermons on Handling Conflict”,(Broadman Press) said,Perhaps that’s why Snoopy,in the comic strip “Peanuts,”said, “I hate being head beagle.” Conflict and criticism are a part of the leadership package—no matter who the head beagle is.

There are times when a pastor should stay……and there are times to move on..

You may know that it’s time to move when….

1.Your people are constantly ‘Bitching.’

2.Your people are ‘Snitching’about other members.

3.No one is ‘Listening.’ Word falls only on hard hearts.

4.Your music director is ‘Swishing’ when he walks.

5.Most of your congregation is ‘Missing’ on Sunday.

6.Your wife is ‘Whistling’ at the prospect of moving.

7.The church that has your resume is ‘Wishing’ that you would come.

8.You are constantly ‘Itching.’You have a spirit of agonizing un-rest.

9.A re-tired pastor is ‘Whispering’ that he may become interim pastor when you leave.

10.Your face is ‘Glistening’ when a pastor search committee shows up.

Rambling Advice From A Rustic,Retired Pastor.

April 29, 2009

I want to share some important things I have learned as a pastor for 40 years.They are not listed in any particular order.Some are more important than others.Many of them are just matters of common(horse sense).In my journey of 40 years as a pastor,I have learned more from preachers who have honestly told of the mistakes they have made in the ministry than I ‘ve learned from the great and often embellished success stories that they have shared with us.

1.You cannot and should not attempt to control anybody in the church.The pastor who is a control freak,is insecure and unstable.Make sure that you are under the control of the Holy Spirit.I assure you that will be a full time job.

2.Be willing to say at times when you are asked a question,“I don’t know.”

3.Your job is to fill the pulpit.It is not your job to fill the pews.

4.Lead the flock.Don’t push the flock.Read this one ten times a day.

5.You are not indispensable.If you are sick on sunday morning..stay home.Let the chairman of deacons pray his same prayer of 30 years…Lord,lead,guide and direct us..take the offering and dismiss the service.

6.Don’t even attempt to please everybody.If you do ,you are on a performance trip and trap.We are to please our Lord who has called us into the ministry.On the other hand,do not try to dis-please everybody.There is no virtue in being obstinate.

7.Preaching should be personal..but not individualistic.Heed this advice or you will be sorry one day.

8.Start on time and quit on time.(nuff said).

9.In times of crisis orĀ  conflict…P-A-U-S-E before you respond.

10.It is perfectly alright to be dogmatic on certain issues,but try not to be bull dogmatic.

11.Avoid wealth,women and the abuse of wine in the ministry.

12.Don’t call down teen-agers for talking while you are preaching.Just stop in mid-sentence and stare at them until they stop.It will work every time.

13.A little sweat will save you a lot of tears.So go ahead and visit the hospital and shut ins.They will forget what you preached on sunday,but they will remember your visit.

14.STUDY…Study…Study…Study!!!PRAY…PRAY…PRAY!!!

15.If possible…use part time staff.What can a full time music person do all week?

16.It will do you good to say when neccessary,“I AM SORRY.”

17.If there is a need…Teach a sunday school class.If you don’t teach..then attend a SS class.You will be surprised at what is taught in some classes.If you have to use the SS hour to get ready for the worship at 11 you are in real trouble.

18.Don’t compare your ministry with the big church down the road.Be faithful where God has placed you.

19.Heed the advice that an old African American woman gave to a young man called into the ministry,“Be who you is,cause if you is who you ain’t,you ain’t who you is.”

20.Feel free to add or disagree with anything that I have said about 1-19.I would like to hear from you…I’m still a learner.