The ‘Control freak’ pastor.

9 characteristics of a ‘control freak’ pastor.
By Les Parrott

The most obvious and overarching characteristic of a controlling pastor is, of course, the desperate desire to be in control. But there’s more to this desire than meets the eye. See if any of these traits make you a little nervous:

1. Obnoxious. Control freaks can be characterized as people who are offensive, injuring nearly every relationship they have with their controlling and pernicious ways.

2. Tenacious. It’s part of the “Control Freak Code”: “Don’t ever, ever, ever, give in.” The “control freak” pastor could easily spend several minutes correcting a story he is being told. No matter that the detail he’s concerned about makes absolutely no difference to the story, he wants to be right.

3. Invasive. Some controlling pastors exhibit an invasive quality by poking around in their parishioners’ private lives–in a “ministerial” sort of way. “Saintly” control freaks will cloak their invasiveness in religious garb. “Why has the Lord put you on my heart?” they may ask as a way of getting their gossip fix.

4. Obsessive. Control freaks obsess about anything and everything, from a person’s offhanded remark to where people are seated around a conference table. Anything can become their obsession, causing them to lose perspective and neglect the big picture.

5. Perfectionistic. Listen carefully, and you will hear controlling ministers say under their breath, “I can’t believe I did that, what a jerk.” They will berate themselves for not having everything go exactly the way they wanted it to. We all get frustrated from time to time because something throws a chink in the works, but the typical control freak can’t let it go.

6. Critical. Everyone knows control freaks can be some of the most painfully critical people you’ll ever meet. It seems they can’t keep their critical comments in check. They blurt out their critiques as easily as a professional reviewer gives a “thumbs down” to a movie.

7. Irritable. Cranky and contentious. Touchy and testy. Those who work closely with the control freak know to walk on eggshells if they don’t want to set him or her off. The tiniest of things can ruin the control freak’s day.

8. Demanding. This is a mainstay for control freaks. To get their way, they often resort to making demands. Like a kidnapper who is trying to secure a ransom, they order people around at their whim and fancy.

9. Rigid. In the hugely successful TV hit Seinfeld, one of the most popular episodes was based on a real-life situation and titled “The Soup Nazi.” It centered around a feisty man running a small eatery where New Yorkers stood outside in long lines to enjoy takeout orders of this guy’s delicious soup creations.

The catch? Customers had to put up with this control freak’s rigid rules. Only one customer in the store at a time. Place your order immediately. Do not point. Don’t ask questions. Pay and leave. If you wanted to feast on these tasty soups, you did as the man said. And if you didn’t? “No soup for you,” the Soup Nazi would snap. “Come back three months.”

The episode struck a chord with viewers because we all know control freaks who live by rigid rules and expect us to do the same.

Jack’s part time job.v=VeNu4LwZTPQ

Explore posts in the same categories: Insecure pastors, Jack Hyles, Perry Noble

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13 Comments on “The ‘Control freak’ pastor.”

  1. pastorinthewoods Says:

    I met this person at the Operation Christmas Child warehouse. She is not a pastor.

  2. pastorinthewoods,
    I think what you and that lady had was “A failure to communicate.” (from Cool hand Luke).

  3. chadwick Says:

    Is that the same group of men who mow their grass in ‘three-piece suits’?

  4. pastorinthewoods Says:

    “A man has got to know his limitations”-Dirty Harry

    I just didn’t know mine at the moment

  5. devon leesley Says:

    If anyone else comes along with a true calling, they are excluded and rejected by the esteemed one, the pastor. They feel threatenned and are envious of a true anointed function in someone else.

  6. I can't stand control freaks Says:

    How can someone consider themselves to be a pastor or Christian and be a control freak? I met a controlling pastor and I think that he was one of the nastiest men I’ve ever met.

  7. David Says:

    I know of a woman pastor who says God told her to be a Bishop. She has so much control over her congregation that she even tells them what they can and can not eat,wear,she tells them where they can and can not go and when they can go where ever be it vacation or other churches. Her ministers preach when she says they can preach. Now that’s some serious control.

  8. pwattley Says:

    I have a controlling pastor. All I know to do is to pray that God will reveal this fault to him. I almost hate to go to church sometimes.

  9. David Says:

    Enjoyed that email on control freak pastors. It is a serious matter that needs this kind of exposure. I was once a victim of one of those pastors. Keep up the good work. God bless.

  10. Kelly Says:

    The most damaging effect as a result of these characteristics that are defined is that ultimately this man’s family and insecure followers become so psychologically damaged, that they have a twisted view of God’s love. I am married to man who was raised by this sort of man. His father was a high functioning control freak, and a pastor. This man leads with an iron fist and sucks any love out of any environment that he enters. He detests women especially, and any other man that has any money or power. He intimidates his church members into believing that they have to give of themselves as he sees fit. Anyone who challenges him will pay! My husband is a mess most of the time as a result of living under this man’s authority. His father, the “man of God,” gives him no birthday present or Christmas present. Basically, there is no expression of love. My husband feels sad and depressed most days. Or, should I say, he struggles with these feelings. My husband is also a minister and he seeks to not live as his father did. Currently, we serve under a loving pastor who does berate and belittle his congregation. Sadly, my husband’s father remains a dark shadow in his life. My husband loves his father, but his father is an angry man! It is so incredibly sad!!!

  11. Trish Says:

    I work for a control freak sociopath female pastor in the same church attend. If my faith were not strong, I would have left the church a long time ago. She is more interested in being a CEO than a spiritual leader.

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