Grief..To say..or not to say..

Eventually all families have loved ones who die..they may be old or even young.”The old must die,the young may die.”But we all die.Statistics prove that one out of one persons die.

From my heart and experience,I want to share a few thoughts on what to say or not to say to the bereaved.

1.Don’t say,”Well he’s better off  in heaven.” Their loved one may not be in heaven.And even if  he is in heaven…right now,we want him here.Is that selfish?Yes,but true.

2.Don’t say,”well,it was his time to go.”I do not think you can know that.Heb.9:27,I believe teaches that man is appointed to die once…he is not re-incarnated to live and die again.In my opinion, it is not saying that everyone has a certain calender date on which he will die.

3.Don’t say,as I used to say,”time will heal all wounds,it will get easier.” Yes,the pain will lessen somewhat..but the emptiness will never go away.

4.Don’t,please don’t say,”I know what you are going through.”

5.Don’t try to force a grieving person to eat.Make sure they drink plenty of fluids and eat sparingly.

6.Don’t be afraid not to say anything.just be there.

7.Don’t just say,”I’ll be praying for you.”Do it.

Pray that we will learn from this tragedy.The word “chasten”has in it the idea of being taught.

Pray that we will have a teachable(humble)spirit.

Pray that we will sense God’s presence even when He seems so distant.Encourage us to read the Psalms.

Pray that through this experience we will be better comforters to others who will one day be where we now are.

Pray that we will not just talk about God’s sovereignty,but that we will rejoice in his rule and reign.

Pray that we will be able to distinguish the difference between happiness and joy.Happiness comes and goes but joy remains.In our darkest hour we can have joy because we have something to rejoice about..Our loved one is dead,but our Lord is alive.

Pray that though we are experiencing the greatest storm of our lives..that we will be on top of the storm and not under it.

As you pray for us..share with us a few of your zanexes.We may need them for awhile.

Explore posts in the same categories: Grieving for dummies, Haley Poore, How to grieve., Jay Poore, Uncategorized

3 Comments on “Grief..To say..or not to say..”

  1. Les Puryear Says:


    Good stuff. The ministry of presence is at work here. One does not
    have to say anything; just be there.


  2. Bill Poore Says:

    Job’s friends were a comfort to him while sitting by his side…and then they opened their mouths.Much of what they said and how they said it caused even more discomfort to Job.

  3. pastorinthewoods Says:

    This is excellent and only comes from someone who has both grieved and comforted others.


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