The “Not All Together For The Gospel”conference.FBWS.

The John.3:16(not all together for the gospel)conference will be held at FBWS in Nov,sponsored by Jerry Vine’s ministry.This conference is not going to be a“Let’s bash the Calvinists”conference.

However,no “creepy calvinists will be speaking at the “Not-all-together-for-the-gospel “conference.

For $110 dollars two meals will be provided.For 5 point Calvinists the charge will be$555 dollars and they must wait until all Arminians have completed their meal before they eat..

The Arminian“experts on Calvinism” speakers will be:

1.Paige “Renaisance”Patterson…Total depravity. Why dead men are dead,but not all together dead when it comes to responding to the gospel.

2.Richard “Big Boy”Land.Unconditional Election.God saw nothing in you worthy of redemption ,but he looked foward in time and saw you praying the “sinners prayer.”

3.David Allen.Limited atonement.”I believe what Paige RenaisancePatterson believes about limited atonement.”God voted for me,Satan voted against me,and I cast the deciding vote.

4.Steve Lemke.Irresistable grace.Sing “just as I am” as long as it takes during the invitation.By 12:30 no one will resist.

5.Ken Keathley,a graduate of a flaming fundamentalist,Pre-Mill-Pre-Trib-Seperated-Soul-winning-Sin hating Bible college(Tennessee Temple University).Perseverance of the saints.Before speaking,Ken will sing a song by the Happy Goodmans,”I wouldn’take nothing for my journey now,I’ve got to make it to heaven somehow.”

If you miss this conference,you may be a creepy,chihuahua,anti-missions,anti-witnessing,hyper Calvinist.

Explore posts in the same categories: calvary baptist church, Calvinists go away, Evangelism, satire, Tulip, Uncategorized

4 Comments on “The “Not All Together For The Gospel”conference.FBWS.”

  1. Justin Says:

    How could anyone miss the love expressed by Calvinists in this post?

    Sorry for the sarcasm, but how does this move forward your viewpoint?

  2. Justin,
    This post did not move foward my viewpoint.But it did get you to comment and that made my day.Thanks for stopping by the hottub.

  3. How can anyone not see the absurdity and the humor of having five flaming Arminians speak on the T-U-L-I-P.It doesnt get any better.I always thought the movie,”What about Bob”was funny.But this is hilarious.This is acadamy award funny.This conference deserves the Nobel prize.It gets my vote.

  4. Greg Says:

    You are most definitely correct on this point My Dear Hottub. I have heard dear Dr. PP convulse to explain election without either contradicting the Bible or inpinging too much on human freedom as expressed in enlightenment/American thought. I have great respect for the man, but he always engages in these subjects with a “yes, but” type of arguement where the but has not real validity or if it does somehow one Biblical truth cancels another when we want it to. From Ken Keathley…at Building Bridges he had to resort to a nearly heretical RCC view. Too much philosophy, too littel Bible (a Temple guy…oh my…too many of them around…:) ).

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