Five Calvinists to Serve in Hunt Adminisration..

Johnny Hunt vows to be “inclusive”during his tenure as President of the SBC.

At the 2009 Southern Baptist Convention,Five Calvinists appointed by Johnny,after consulting with Jerry Vines,will assist Johnny Hunt.

1.A one point calvinisit(a little midget with a cane)will follow Johnny around.When Johnny says something,the little one point calvinist will say,”Thats right,brother Johnny,thats right.”Brother Johnny’s telling the truth,He really is a one point calvinist.

2A two point calvinist will wipe the sweat from Johnny,when Johnny lathers up while preaching.He will also be in charge of watering the “daisies”and “tulips”in front of the platform.

3.A three point calvinist will carry Johnny’s Bible.(Liberty University edition,signed by Jerry Falwell,a former arminian,but now a calvinist).

4.A four point calvinist will direct traffic in the parking lot.

5.A five point calvinist will  be in charge of cleaning the rest rooms at the convention center.That’s where you’ll find me.While cleaning,I’ll be singing a song about Johnny,”You win again.”

Explore posts in the same categories: satire

5 Comments on “Five Calvinists to Serve in Hunt Adminisration..”

  1. Rainman Says:

    How does sowing discord among the brethren and gossipping about a fellow believer bring Glory to God?
    When you hear the initials JC – if you think John Calvin before Jesus Christ you are carnal.

    All my calvist friends amaze me because their entire fammilies have somehow all been elected.

    I pity your short sightedness

  2. Rainman,
    Take 5 (f-i-v-e) ‘baby’aspirins at bedtime.You’ll feel better in the morning.
    I pity your self righteous short sightedness.

  3. pastorinthewoods Says:

    Better get your toilet brush ready hottub. It looks like its going to be a long 2 years.

    I am not sure if rainman has any Calvinist “friends” if he goes around pitying them so much. I don’t really need that kind of pity from someone obviously smarter than me.

  4. pastorinthewoods,
    Comments from Arminians like Rainman serve as fuel for me to propell the Doctrines of grace as never before..I hunger for comments from those who reek with false piety.
    Arminians who have no sense of humor and detest satire are the catalyst that motivates me to blog-blog-blog.The blogesphere is no place for the serious,somber,sober,and self-righteous.

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