Who are Deacons and what do they do?

Recently I wrote a post on who are pastors and what do they do?Now multitudes of well meaning christians are demanding a similiar post on deacons.

In a town hall meeting,after a chicken dinner,I met with a 100 diverse people who asked questions about deacons..who are they and what do they do.

1.Bobby Jo asks..What is the main qualifcation of a deacon in a Baptist church?

Bob,you have asked a question that most people avoid,even though they desperately want to know.

The number one qualification in a Baptist church is that the prospective deacon must have a “male organ”(this doesn’t refer to a musical organ).This requirment dis-qualfies all women,because Eve sinned first in the garden).Women belong to the WMU.They accomplish much more than the deacons but that doesn’t matter.Our churches would have to close the doors without them and the R.A’S died when the women turned the R.A.program to the men.Still the fact is…Eve blew it in the garden of Eden.

2.Jill asks..Are there any other things in a prospective deacon’s life that would cause him to  be inelligable to become a deacon?

Jill,please know that you are not here by accident tonight.Providence brought you here to ask this question.

In the Baptist church a deacon must not be divorced for any reason.If he re-marries he commits the unpardonable sin and is not forgiven in this world or the next.He has committed adultry.Jill interrupts,”What if a married man lusts in his heart.isn’t that adultry??”Yes,Jill,but it is sin in the heart and not in the bed.So it really doesn’t matter if he commits it in his heart a million times a day,he can still be a deacon.

3.Penny asks,What if a man has murdered,stolen,abused his wife and children,commited arson,and burned the American flag,can he be a deacon?

Why sure,Penny.If he has prayed a sinner’s prayer and squeezed the pastor’s hand to confirm his free-will decision,he is a “new creature in Christ.”His sins are forgiven and forgotten unless he is divorced(it doesn’t count for them).Not only can the murderes and others mentioned be deacons but they are encouraged to give their testimonies on Baptist men’s day.The divorced men are allowed to tithe and serve on the property committee.

4.Leon asks,Exactly what takes place in a monthly deacon’s meeting?

Lee,I’ll try to anwser that question.Usually the pastor brings a brief devotion while the deacons are looking down at the monthly treasures report and shaking their heads from side to side.Then we have prayer for all the sick in our church.Sometimes we read the names of all the people from A to B in the phone book and pray for them to get well also.The minutes from the previous meeting are read.There were several good suggestions that were discussed last month,but nothing was accomplished.We decide to discuss them further at tonights meeting.Next,we do what was begun in the first church in the book of Acts.

The chairman of deacons asks each deacon if he has anything to bring up.(He also reminds everyone that what is said in this room,stays in this room).We go around th room clock wise.

One deacon is asked..Do you have anything to bring up?Sometimes he will say,”yes,but I would like to wait until the end of the meeting.Also,I would request that the pastor not to be present.”Generally the other deacons nod in agreement.

The next deacon has something to bring up.He says,”I’ve been getting a lot of phone calls lately.People call me because they have confidence in me.”Some of em”are just not happy with the way things are going in the church.”They” would rather remain anonymous,except to me..because they have confidence in me,but “some of em”are just not happy with the direction our church is headed.Now,I’m not going to say what they are disgruntled about and I’m not going to name any names..we just need to pray about it.Something has got to be done.

The next deacon….Let’s not forget our Christmas baskets.Christmas is only 11 months away.Because of inflation.I would suggest that we leave out the tootsy rolls this year.And we may have to take a look at the Pastor’s Christmas bonus.I worked 30 years at the mill and I never received a Christmas bonus.Besides we have Lottie Moon to think about/

Final deacon..Just pray for me.My wife and kids want to attend another church because we don’t have anything here for the youth.I may atttend with them,but keep my letter here so that I can still serve as a committed deacon.

Then the chairman of deacons says,”lets close in prayer,but continue our discussion as the pastor dismisses himself.God bless you pastor,we’re praying for you.

Leon,I hope this helps you to see what deacons do in a regular monthly deacon’s meeting in the average Baptist church.

A word of explanation,”All that was said in the questions and answers above in no way describe the deacons in the church where I now serve.They are all filled with wisdom and the Spirit.All answers have to do with other deacons in previous churches where I served,(B.P).”

Explore posts in the same categories: Deacons..who and what?, Pastors and deacons, satire, Uncategorized

5 Comments on “Who are Deacons and what do they do?”

  1. Greg Says:

    Bill, I would laugh it wasn’t so true from my understanding. Backs up my call for Elder led churches in the SBC. Men not chosen for leadership or family name, but by character and Biblical knowledge.
    On qualifications. It amazes me that as you joked, a man who committed any number of sins when they claim to be a real Christian (or not) and a man who had a divorce as a non-Christian are viewed in a very skewed manner. The murderer who claims to have been “back slidden” can hold nearly any church office. A regenerate man with a broken marriage in his pre-Christ days is excluded from service.
    Oh, if a church is lead by elders (pastoral workers and laymen) then we easily can have deaconesses. I must say, a necessary thing that few churches have, though the women do most of the work and leading anyway. As we can see, in country churches we are going directly from blind patriarchy to why can’t women do it all and why can’t a divorced person serve without any questions at all.
    The Bible says each is wrong…Men, lead! Read the Bible and lead lovingly! Ask Biblical questions!
    Sorry for the rant…not really,

  2. Rev Says:

    I was laughing out loud! Sad, but SOOOO true!

    • Demon Says:

      I am always amazed at how quickly the “saved” point out the faults of those they call the “unsaved”. From reading these ridiculous posts, if I were a visitor to this site as a potential new prospect to a church that desires to learn exactly what a church is all about; then I would avoid the deacons of any church like the plague. Obviously, according to you, deacons are “unsaved” fools since you have the gift of knowing the condition of the heart and soul.

      There are good and bad in every aspect of life. Inside the church as well as outside the church. I won’t judge you as you have placed a blanket judgment over men that honor their roles as deacons and do their best to fulfill their call. I am also sickened by those that are pastors that blame deacons for the demise of the church today. I desire the very best church atmosphere for my pastor and I feel our “unsaved” deacons attempt their best to support him in his ministry. Do we agree with every word that comes from his mouth? No, but that doesn’t indicate self-righteousness on behalf of the deacons. Does disagreement mean that we fail to support? No!

      As deacons, we are servants of the Lord to the church. Not servants of the church. Not servants of the pastor either. We are to be partners with the pastor in the church’s number one mission, which is reaching people for and helping them to grow in Christ. Poll any number of pastors and as you see here online, you’ll find those that love and appreciate their deacons and the service they provide with the understanding that their deacons aren’t perfect, but striving to do their best. Then there are those who claim they could conquer the world were it not for the “deacons” they love to refer to as “demons” at their church. Then there are those that say the deacons are only to serve as “visitors” on behalf of, or in place of the pastors. Also, there are those that say the deacons have gained undeserved “honor” or “power” from their positions as deacons. Still others say that the pastor answers to no man or woman in the church. They work for God and therefore are not required to keep their sheep appraised of what they are doing or when they will be absent. Of course, they’ll attend every Budget & Finance meeting, every Personnel Committee Meeting, every Nominating Committee Meeting, every Buildings & Grounds Committee meeting and of course, they won’t miss a “Demons” meeting under any circumstance.

      So tell us, if so many pastors are under so many different paths that they claim God has led them to understand concerning the roles of deacons, then how in the world can you expect a group of “demons” to serve in a fashion and manner that you claim to be just and right. Gentlemen, lead your deacons with love and they’ll do better jobs. Pray for your deacons and pray that the Holy Spirit convicts them to also pray about the decisions they make on behalf of their churches and their ministries. Stop ridiculing them to your fellow pastors and in front of their fellow church members. They don’t won’t to be “demons” and they certainly don’t want to be called “demons” to those they are called upon to minister to. Lead pastors……. give guidance, teaching and understanding. Most of all, give us a piece of the heart of a humble and loving pastor. The rewards may be overwhelming. We want to be your partner, not your adversary.

  3. Dale Zillius Says:

    I was surfing the web for certain information on other’s thoughts on church issues such as theories on what church worship & leadership responsiblities should be and I came across you. As I was looking at the issues you have addressed I saw this one on Deacons and finially realized that behind your humor you were serious. Please let me say that I am sorry that yours & the ones that responded experiences with Deacons have been so bad. As a retired Deacon (meaning, that I will not play silly games in church again) it shame me to have to agree with you but I promise you that there are those who tried to be true to the Word of God. I will state that it would have been nice if there was a Pastor that understood that his deacon work 40+ hours a week, we have families that we would like to see and that after 10 to 12 workday that Wed. prayer meeting (remember, if you are not there for all services you can’t be a leader) turns into nap time because he is so boring, of course I do understand he must not have had time to study because he had to visit at the hosiptal for a couple of hours that day. Then after all that wants to have a deacon training class for all active deacon all day on saturday. Guess what, the training is needed before a “man” is even considered to be one. Yes, I said man and call me what you want but the only way a woman can be a deacon is to be gay and that would be a Ellen D. because she worn the pant at the wedding. Sorry, but it says husband of one wife and that does not mean that a divorce man can not be a deacon. A divorce man is not a deacon because of narrow minded pastors who do not understand the forgiving & saving power of our Savior. And please tell your friend who is in love with church elders that an elder is just a deacon who is just to old to drive or can say such a sweet prayer that it brings tears to the eyes. But when all is said and done elder is just a glorified name for a popalarity vote same as deacons. Please remember that elder will not treat a pastor any better than a deacon, it’s just a new catch phase. I wish I knew the answer to all this except to say that all church leadership (even the undershepard, what that is, maybe underpope) need to work together but the only problem there is that most church leaders do not know Jesus as their savior. Hope you much joy in your journey. there is very little in churches these days. But that is another subject.

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