Remember the moment Stopwatch.Tom in the Box.

15 March, 2008

Remember the Moment Stopwatch $12.95

“If you cannot remember the exact moment you were saved, then you are NOT saved,” — Pastor William McDonald of Simpson, Tennessee.“When you question your salvation, remember to trust that exact moment when you raised your hand,” — Pastor Douglas Krenshaw of Jimton, Alabama.

“Do you remember the time when you prayed the prayer? No? Then you wasted your breath.” — Pastor Rocky Gibbons of Wichita, Georgia.

Dear Friend,

Please take the following quiz regarding the time you were saved:
1. Write your approximate age (when you were saved) here:
2. Write the year here:
3. Write the month here:
4. Write the day of the month here:
5. Write the hour here:
6. Write the minute here:
7. Write the second here:

If you were unable to completely and accurately answer all questions, my dear friend, then you must acknowledge that you do not remember the moment of your salvation. We do not wish to cause you panic, dear friend. But please read the pastor’s quotes above once again and think about the implications.
Has the wisdom of these pastors stirred your heart? Have you failed to remember the exact time of your salvation? Do you lack faith in your memory?

If the answer to these three questions is “yes yes yes” then please consider purchasing a Remember the Moment Stopwatch for the moment that you really get saved.

For this very important moment in your life, why not trust your salvation memories to Remember the Moment? All Remember the Moment Stopwatches are tested and retested so you will never fail to know the exact moment again.

With 7 different pre-programmed modes, you can precisely capture up to 7 different moment times. Here’s how it works:
* Have your finger ready on the 1st button. When your foot touches the aisle, simply press the button.
* When the pastor touches your shoulder, press the button again.
* When you begin to pray the simple prayer, hit the button upon your first utterance of the word “Lord.”
* Do the same at the very end of the prayer when you say “Amen.”
* Since the Remember the Moment Stopwatch is waterproof, take it to your baptism and press the blue button as soon as you re-emerge.
* Finally, have the watch ready in case you ever pray any unknown words.
* The seventh mode is for any other exact time you would like to remember.

Why 7 different moments? Don’t let the potential for a future change in theology spoil the moment. Consider the testimony of Ralph Lendleton, “When I attended the Baptist Church, I used to think the moment of salvation was the exact time I stepped into the aisle. After my conversion to the Church of Christ, I was so glad I had used the Remember the Moment Stopwatch during my Baptist Church baptism.”

Even if you remember your moment, make sure to get one for the kids and grandkids before they make that big step. Be prepared the first time to reduce the chances of a future repeat when the moment is forgotten. Consider purchasing a Remember the Moment Stopwatch and placing it in your kid’s hand before they leave for camp, before VBS week, before the annual evangelistic Sunday School, before chapel at the private school, and before the pastor and the rest of the EE team arrive on Monday nights.

The Remember the Moment Stopwatch can actually go beyond the moment and time your salvation to the nearest 100th of a second (set the watch to “twinkling of an eye” mode).

You don’t want them to forget the moment. Get your Remember the Moment Stopwatch today!

Explore posts in the same categories: Faith., satire

3 Comments on “Remember the moment Stopwatch.Tom in the Box.”

  1. Greg Bailey Says:

    Gag me with a ginsu butchers knife. This is one of the blessings that came off the Finnien revivalism. We have brought the gospel to a moment in our lives where we decided God would work for us. Is blasphemy to hard a word. Yes, I know it is a joke Bill, but it is hard to laugh at the kernel of truth it is built around. Truth of our churches, not Biblical Truth.

  2. Rev Says:

    Do they have a thin-line version that will fit in the back of my Bible, where such information belongs?

  3. Greg Bailey Says:

    You need a specialized Bible with a special compartment near the information and “celebrity signing page.”

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