Definitions,Distractions and Distortions in the SC Baptist Convention.

Electile Dysfunction:Calvinists in the mold of the founders of the SBC are “non-electable.”

Girly Men:Pastors who cry out against the abuse of power in the SC Baptist Building,but still hold hands  with the “Hatchet Man”and the conservative caucus.

Arminian Hypochondriac:An Arminian SC Baptist pastor who blames all of his hurts and little scratches on those mean old Calvinists.

Presidential Amnesia:Rev.Mike Moody.

Calarminia:An Arminian SC Baptist pastor who says with a straight face,”I am a 4 point Calvinist.”

Secret Service Southern Baptist:A SC Baptist pastor who lives in fear of leaving a “paper trail.”

The Abomination of Desolation:SC Baptist bloggers who speak with clairty,candor and sometimes “satire.”

Disappoinment:Men from the Baptist Building,Kershaw,Rock Hill ,Greenville,and Spartunburg who were unable to bring a “defamation”suit against Bill.

Greatest Comeback:The conservative caucus who had announced their demise.They are back…bigger and better than ever.

Ghost Town:Calvary Baptist church when Bobby(Calvinist Basher)Welch began preaching a message he got together that afternoon.

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10 Comments on “Definitions,Distractions and Distortions in the SC Baptist Convention.”

  1. hwunch Says:

    You forgot one Bill… “Pit-Bull. Someone who bites someone who is nice to them just because he can’t help it.”


  2. What is it like to have someone be nice to you?

  3. Stuart Houston Says:

    Mr. Poore,

    Names and/or explanations?

    You seem to pride yourself on not being afraid to stand up to the “establishment”. If so, I, as a fellow SC baptist Pastor, respectfully ask you to quit speaking in veiled sarcasm and enlighten us as to who or what these are:

    Girly Men:Pastors who cry out against the abuse of power in the SC Baptist Building,but still hold hands with the “Hatchet Man”and the conservative caucus. WHO?

    Arminian Hypochondriac:An Arminian SC Baptist pastor who blames all of his hurts and little scratches on those mean old Calvinists. WHO- example?

    Presidential Amnesia:Rev.Mike Moody. WHAT?

    Calarminia:An Arminian SC Baptist pastor who says with a straight face,”I am a 4 point Calvinist.” WHO?

    Secret Service Southern Baptist:A SC Baptist pastor who lives in fear of leaving a “paper trail.” WHO and for WHAT REASON?

    Thank you in advance for your prompt repsonse,

    Stuart Houston


  4. Mr.Stuart,
    I was giving satiracle definitions,not attacking individuals or personalities.The last time I gave names,I received anonoymous phone calls and was threatened anonyomously with lawsuits for defamation.The threat failed.
    I hopefully do not “pride”myself on anything as you have judged.Neither am I afraid to post sarcastic and negative comments.
    You had your say.Thanks for stopping by the hottub.
    Respectfully
    bp

  5. Stuart Houston Says:

    Thank you for the clarification. The ‘hottub’ is always an interesting visit!

    jsh

  6. pastorinthewoods Says:

    HE NAME NAMES! NOW HE HAS A PERMANENT RECORD!


  7. Hans,
    Your comparision of me to a “pit bull’has devastated me.My choice of dogs is the Bichon Freeze.That is a little powder puff dog.i had one for 13 years before he died and went to heaven.He had cancer.his nick name was “little Jimmy Swaggart.”He loved the girls but we had to have him fixed.
    Since you are so much bigger than me,I can’t help but think about David(Bill)and Goliath(Hans).You have wounded me deeply,but I stlll consider you my friend and will campaign for you in 2008.
    You need not comment for now.It would only cause me more emotional discomfort and I ask that you not toy with my emotions.This is a fragile time in my life.
    I am “better”and not “bitter.”
    Pit Bill

  8. hwunch Says:

    LOL Bill, I just knew that #2 was about me. There is an old SNL skit of Hans and Fronz “We’re here to pump *clap* you up!” And they constantly spoke of girly men. So I figured you were speaking of me and I know how much you hate being left out when people are being picked on, so I figured I would help you get in.

    BTW, hate to break it to you, but *whispers* Dogs do not have souls, so they do not go to heaven. I know, it was heart breaking to me too. Grace and Peace to you! Oh, and don’t hold your breath on 2008. But I am looking forward to saying “See, I told you so” in 2009 🙂

  9. Greg Says:

    Not according to Dr. John Hammett! I will have a pooch in heaven!
    Greg

  10. hwunch Says:

    But it won’t be your dog from down here, is the point I was making. And having had numerous discussions with the afore mentioned Dr. Hammett, I think he would agree. Yes there will be dogs, no it won’t be fluffy, or fido.


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