Parents and Children.Prov.22:6

Train up a child in the way(bent) he should go:and when he is old,he will not depart from it.

Derek Kidner(Proverbs) writes,verse 6 is dealing with a child’s formative years.The training prescribed is lit.’according to his (the child’s)way’,implying,it seems,respect for his individuality and vocation,though not for his selfwill(see verse 5,or 14:12).But the stress is upon parental opportunity and duty.Train means elsewhere to ‘dedicate a house(Dt.20:5),Temple(1.Ki.8:63),etc.Possibly a trace of this meaning clings to it.

The word way in verse 6 is bent.His way,bent(personality).cp.Prov.30:19.The way of an eagle.An eagle has its own distinctive way(bent).

We are told today that approximately 85% of one’s adult personality is formed by the time he is 6 years old.

The Duke Medical Center says, “Children are born princes and princesses and enviorment makes frogs out of them.”David writes in Ps.51:5.Behold,I was shapen in iniquity,and in sin did my mother conceive me.

How can you develop your children into adults who will be exceptionally happy and mature bot emoionally and spiritually?

1.A child’s number one need is Security.Security will free him from fear,doubt,and uncertainty.

(Material gathered from public library).

Ten year old Robert…“I get scared when my Father doesn’t come home from work on time,but it’s worse when Mom yells at him when he does come home.”

Ten year old Andy says that if he were invisible, “I would seal my mother’s mouth with honey so that when she talked to my Father all her words would sound sweet because they had to push out through honey before he heard them.”

An adolsescent lonely child, “I try to shake hands with my Father across a fence but his side is higher than mine.”

Beth age ten, “Fear is like a cold night,when darkness begins to creep in amd the cup of hot co-coa in your hands is suddenly too cool to warm you.”

Susan, “Fear is taking a big step in the snow but making no foot prints.” Fear is winter when you wake up in the night and the house is very quiet and you have no covers on.

Robert, “The scariest thing that ever happened to me..one time I was in the department store with my Father and we went down the escalator and I looked up and saw I was standing next to the wrong man.”

Nancy writes, “I had a dream,no a nightmare.I was in school and they all didn’t know me.I felt so alone when no one knew me.I looked in the mirrow and I saw nothing.I’m ugly,I’m nothing when I’m alone.”

The ugly fact is that suicide is the second major killer of children age 14-18.Only accidents rate higher.

The wish to end life before much of it has begun,now affects one hundred thousand young people every year.Ten thousand do it.Proof once again that contemporary stress makes it harder to be a child.Fewer than 30% of these boys and girls who kill themselves even leave a farewell note behind.No one to talk to in life,why bother trying one more time in death?

2. A child needs Love.Not the counterfeit love of the over protective mother.

(1)One way of showing genuine love is to give him..positive reinforcement.Some misbehave a lot because thats the only way they can get the attention of their parents.Children have to have attention and stimulation.If they can’t get it by good behavior,they will get it by bad behavior.Praise the child for good behavior.That will encourage him to continue his good behavior.

(2)Consider each child a significant person.We tend to make two common mistakes:

(a)We use identical approaches with our children,even though they are totally different from each other.

(b)We compare our children.Why can’t you be like Susy?Because I’m Sally..to which we reply,Shut up!

(3)Have genuine love between husbands and wives.Eph.5:22-25.

3.A child needs discipline,(training)not abuse.Prov.13:24;23:13-14;29:15

4. A child needs consistency-vitally important.A child needs to know his limits in order to feel secure.Be consistent.Too often the husband is too harsh and the wife is too lenient.One lets him get away.Then the other punishes.The poor child can’t please anybody.Husbands and wives must provide a united front.If you disagree-don’t do it in front of your children.

5.A child needs an Example.Our children learn from our behavior.When the child is young you represent God in his life.If you are warm and affectionate it is easy for him to be attracted to God and to understand that God loves him.Jesus needs to be real in your life.If He is,this comes across to your children.They sense it.They know that Jesus is important in your life.

the church must be important..not buildings-the people.When Sunday comes around,go to church.Church stands for God in that little life and in that little mind.Jesus is the head of the church.How do you seperate the head from the body?The church is to be loved and respected.

Prov.22:6.

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